THE LIE OF THIS
CURRENT REALITY
NOT FOR YOUR
SYMPATHY - FOR YOUR
EDUCATION
CURRENT REALITY
NOT FOR YOUR
SYMPATHY - FOR YOUR
EDUCATION
FOR SOME REASON ? WONDER WHY ??? HA !
YOUTUBE WON'T PUBLISH MY DESCRIPTION OF THIS VIDEO, SO HERE IT IS.
THIS VIDEO WAS TAKEN THE MORNING OF JANUARY 4TH, 2011
FOR YOUR EDUCATION AND UNDERSTANDING.............
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRIED TO CALL A FEW FRIENDS AND WISH THEM A HAPPY
NEW YEARS.
NOT THAT IT WAS A HAPPY ONE FOR ME, ONLY THAT I WANTED TO WISH THEM SOME
HAPPINESS IN THE NEW YEAR TO COME.
OR MAYBE, I SHOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO DO SO...
TRYING TO ESCAPE ABUSE AND TORTURE ISN'T ALWAYS AS EASY AS SOME
PEOPLE THINK...
YES, I HAVE CALLED POLICE DURING AN ATTACK, ONLY TO BE ARRESTED, ABUSED,
STRIPPED SEARCHED, BEATEN AND EVEN RAPED BY THE POLICE I CALLED TO
PROTECT ME AND THE JAIL GUARDS WHO JAILED ME, ONLY TO BE RAILROADED
WITH-OUT COUNCIL AND CONVICTED FOR ASSAULT, IN MY OWN DEFENSE, OR FOR
POSSESSING CANNABIS PARAPHERNALIA DURING AN ATTACK.
I HAVE PROSECUTED MANY OF MY ATTACKERS, ONLY TO HAVE THEM SPEND 1
NIGHT IN JAIL AND RECEIVE TIME SERVED AS THEIR SENTENCE. DESPITE THE FACT
ALL MY SENTENCES AND TRIALS WERE HARSHER THAN THEIRS. NO MATTER WHAT
THEY'VE DONE TO ME.
I HAVE BEEN SUBJECT TO THE STATES CONTROL AND ABUSE. AFTER SEEKING
THEIR AID. EITHER VIA, THEIR LAW ENFORCEMENT, JAIL GUARDS, JAILS, COURTS,
GOVERNMENT OFFICES AND BIAS LAWS... EVEN BEING LABELED AS A KIDNAPPING
CULT LEADER BY LOCAL MEDIA AND PRESS. "ALL LIES" THEY BEGAN...
I HAVE LEFT MY HOME(S), STATES, MANY TIMES. ONLY TO END UP IN THE SAME
SHI# NO MATTER WHERE I RELOCATED, DUE TO CONTINUED STALKING BY MY
ATTACKERS OR OTHERS WHO WANTED TO STEP IN AND TAKE OVER WHERE THE
LAST ONE LEFT OFF, INCLUDING MY OWN FAMILY AND THE GOVERNMENT.
I HAVE BEEN HOMELESS IN THE STREETS. ONLY TO WATCH MANY OF THOSE IN THE
STREETS ABUSE THEMSELVES, EACH OTHER AND THE SYSTEM, AND BECOME
SUBJECT TO THAT ABUSE...
NOT TO MENTION, I HAVE AT TIMES, BEEN ORDERED BY THE COURTS TO RETURN
AND REMAIN IN MY HOME, DESPITE THE STALKING AND ABUSE I WAS TRYING TO
ESCAPE AND GOING THROUGH. AS I BECAME SUBJECT TO THEIRS... AND THE
SAME...
I BECAME A BELTED & AWARDED MARTIAL ARTIST WHO COULD/CAN DEFEND
HERSELF, ONLY TO BE CONVICTED 3 TIMES FOR TRYING TO DO SO ON MY BEHALF.
ONLY TO FEEL LIKE I HAD BECAME ONE OF THEM = AN ABUSER AND EVERYTHING I
HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST. {AS HITLER ONCE SAID, "WHEN SLAYING MONSTERS, ONE
MUST BE CAREFUL TO NOT BECOME ONE."}
I HAVE EVEN SHOT AN ATTACKER {AFTER LEARNING I COULD NOT USE MY OWN
HANDS TO DEFEND MYSELF} IN SELF DEFENSE, ONLY TO FACE ATTEMPTED
MURDER CHARGES. SPENDING YRS IN COURT AGAIN DEFENDING MYSELF, FOR
DEFENDING MYSELF AGAINST A MANS MALICIOUS VIOLENT ATTACK .
I HAVE CRAWLED INTO CORNERS AND CLOSETS TO ESCAPE THE VIOLENCE, ONLY
TO FIND MYSELF TRAPPED IN THERE WITH MY OWN ANGER AND PAIN FROM IT ALL,
AND ONLY TO FIND MY OWN VIOLENCE FROM IT ALL, WITH-IN MYSELF, AND TO TRY
TO CONTAIN IT.
I HAVE AT ONE TIME, EVEN SELF MEDICATED AND SELF MUTILATED TRYING TO
COPE WITH THE PAIN AND ANGER OF IT ALL. ONLY TO FIND MY SELF ADDICTED TO IT
ALL. TRYING TO FEED MY EGO OR FLESH WHAT IT THOUGHT IT CRAVED AND THEN I
GOT OVER IT.
I HAVE DONE MY BEST DESPITE IT ALL, NOT TO ASK FOR ANYTHING FROM ANYONE,
SO THEY CAN NOT LATER USE THAT TO CONTROL, BLACK MAIL OR ABUSE ME.
I HAVE GIVEN UP MY RIGHTS TO SOCIAL SECURITY AND ALL FEDERAL OR STATE
AID, INCLUDING MY DISABILITY AND MEDICAL CARE, IN ORDER TO ATTEMPT TO END
THEIR CONTROL AND ABUSE. {WORKING ON MY SOVEREIGNTY, BUT I MUST BE ABLE
TO SUSTAIN MYSELF FIRST}
ABUSE IS EVERYWHERE IT SEEMS.
I CONTINUE TO TRY TO CREATE MY OWN SUSTAINABILITY AND TO EDUCATE OTHERS
ON BECOMING SELF SUSTAINABLE, SO THAT THEY ARE NOT FORCED TO LIVE IN
ANOTHER'S CONTROL, VIOLENCE AND ABUSE.
I EVEN TRIED TO ALLOW THE BANK TO FORE-CLOSE ON MY HOME, {DESPITE ME
HAVING NO WHERE ELSE TO GO} DUE TO MY EX BEING A CO-SIGNER {NOW
SOMEHOW LISTED AS THE PRIMARY NOTE HOLDER ON MY MORTGAGE, DESPITE
HIS NAME HAS NEVER BEEN ON MY DEED AND THE COURTS DECLARING THIS HAS
ALWAYS BEEN MY HOME} WHO ONLY WANTS TO USE THAT AGAINST ME TO
CONTINUE TO CONTROL AND ABUSE ME.
YET, THE FORE-CLOSER WAS HALTED BY THE FEDS. OF ALL PEOPLE AFTER I
GUESS HE AND THEM REACHED SOME KIND OF AGREEMENT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
SO..........
ALL I CAN DO IS KEEP TRYING TO CREATE MY OWN EMPLOYMENT AND
SUSTAINABILITY, DESPITE ALL THE ILLNESS I FIGHT {AGAIN FIGHTING}, BEING
BLACK LISTED AND BEING UNDER CONSTANT ATTACKS BY HIM, OTHERS OF THE
LIKE, AND THE STATE OR FEDS. {MORE FIGHTING}
I AM A VERY INTELLIGENT PERSON, DESPITE HOW MY LIFE LOOKS OR HOW IT HAS
TURNED OUT THUS FAR...
THIS IS WHERE AND WHAT I CAME FROM, IT HAS BEEN MUCH WORSE AND CAN BE.
IT IS ALL I HAVE EVER KNOWN OR SEEN PERSONALLY.
YET, I KNOW THERE IS MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS.
AND IT/THIS IS NOT ME OR WHO I AM !
DESPITE WHAT THINGS LOOK LIKE HERE, I AM NOT ADDICTED TO MY OWN PAIN,
DRAMA, PEOPLE OR RELATIONSHIPS. EVEN IF I AM SURROUNDED BY OTHERS WHO
ARE AND WANT TO FORCE IT UPON ME.
I CAN LIVE ALONE, HAVE MANY YEARS, AND I WAS BETTER OFF DURING THOSE
TIMES. I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR ANY OF THIS AND NEVER ASKED FOR THIS MAN
{OR ANY MAN} TO RETURN TO MY LIFE OR MY HOME.
THAT WAS THE BANKS DOINGS WITH THEIR FRAUD AND ABUSE. WHICH ACCORDING
TO POLICE SOMEHOW OVER RIDES ANY COURTS ORDERS OF EVICTION...
I HAVE BEEN FRAMED, JAILED, AND CHARGED WITH CRIMES I HAVE NEVER
COMMITTED AND THAT THE COURTS WERE WELL AWARE OF THE FACT THEY HAD
NEVER EVEN EVER HAPPENED, AS THEY ABUSED THEIR POWER AND AUTHORITY IN
AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE ME SUBMIT THROUGH THEIR THREATS OF ABUSE, TORTURE,
IMPRISONMENT AND THEIR COURTS.
YET, DESPITE ALL OF IT AND THE ILLNESS, WHICH INCLUDES, AS I HAVE SAID IN
THIS VIDEO, S.M.S., OPEN ANGLE GLAUCOMA, CANCER, AND YES, I NEGLECTED TO
MENTION MY SEVERE P.T.S.D.
I WILL CONTINUE TO DO ALL I CAN TO RISE ABOVE THIS LIE, THEY ALL SEEM TO
WANT TO LABEL AS LIFE.
I WILL CONTINUE TO STAND ON WHAT IS RIGHT, MY FREEDOM, WHAT I KNOW TO BE
THE TRUTH AND TO SHARE WHAT I HAVE LEARNED WITH-IN IT ALL. {EVEN IF IT GETS
ME KILLED}
DESPITE THE FACT, I OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO
END THIS CYCLE OF CONTINUED ABUSE AND VIOLENCE IN THE WORLD AROUND ME.
WHICH NOW SEEMS TO BE EVEN WITH-IN ME, JUDGING BY WHAT I DID TO MY OWN
CLOSET, AND BY WHAT I HAVE DONE IN MY OWN DEFENSE AT TIMES.
I DON'T NEED ANY OF THIS TO BE ALIVE OR FEEL ALIVE OR TO VALIDATE MY
EXISTENCE OR SELF WORTH. I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO LIVE PERIOD. BUT YET,
I CONTINUE TO SOMEHOW...
I HAVE MUCH TO OFFER DESPITE ALL OF IT.
I AM AN INTELLIGENT, LOGICAL, LOVING, CARING, INDIVIDUAL WHO IS DESPITE IT
ALL EXTREMELY GIFTED AND BLESSED, WITH MUCH EXPERIENCE AND MANY
AWARDS IN THE ARTS, AS A SCULPTURE, PAINTER, DESIGNER, WRITER, CARVER,
CRAFTSMAN, ...
I AM AN EXPERIENCED BUILDER, MASON, WITH A BACKGROUND IN DESIGN,
DRAFTING AND THE ARTS.
I AM AN EXPERIENCED AND LICENSED MINISTER, ACTIVIST, ADVOCATE, AND
PUBLIC SPEAKER {WHICH I HAVE TRIED TO QUIT BECAUSE, WHO AM I TO ADVISE
YOU, WHEN I CAN NOT EVEN SAVE MYSELF...} WITH STACKS OF THANK YOUS,
E-MAILS, CARDS AND LETTERS FROM PEOPLE AROUND THE GLOBE. WHO CLAIM
THAT I HAVE IN SOME WAY TOUCHED, HELPED, HEALED, CHANGED OR SAVED THEIR
LIVES OR THE LIVES OF SOMEONE THEY LOVE FOR THE BETTER.
EVEN IF I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO COMPLETELY REPAIR OR HEAL MY OWN.
I AM STILL STANDING, STILL TRYING, STILL CONTINUING TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT MY
WAY. I ASK YOU FOR NOTHING, BUT YOUR UNDERSTANDING... AS
I ATTEMPT TO EDUCATE.
IT ISN'T ALWAYS AS EASY AS HOLLYWOOD WOULD MAKE IT SEEM... SOMETIMES
THEY TRY TO KILL YOU, WHEN YOU TRY TO LEAVE AND CAN FIND YOU WHERE EVER
YOU MAY GO.
PLEASE, DON'T WRITE AND TELL ME ABOUT THE SHELTERS. I HAVE BEEN IN AND
EVEN "WORKED" IN.
THEY AREN'T WHAT EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE. IT IS TRULY SAD... THEY ONLY
SUCK YOU INTO YET ANOTHER STATE OF CONTROL, AS THEY THE STATE THEN TRIES
TO CONTROL YOU BY THE SYSTEM AND SYSTEMATIC ABUSE.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, DESPITE ALL THIS, I AM AND DO FEEL, IN AWAY FREE-ER THAN
MOST.
I HAVE STOOD UP FOR MY FREEDOM TO USE CANNABIS AND WON MY RIGHTS IN
COURT, TO MEDICATE. ONLY TO HAVE THEM ALSO TAKEN BY FELONIES ON PAPER,
FOR APPEARANCES SAKE OF THE COURTS. DESPITE THE FACT I NEVER SERVED
SIGNIFICANT TIME ON A CONVICTION IN ANY CASE AND THAT THEY KNOW,
"I CONTINUE TO MEDICATE IN MY HOME AND WILL DO SO", IN A STATE WHERE
THERE IS NO LEGAL PROTECTION FOR OTHERS WHO USE CANNABIS. {THE PROOF IS
IN THEIR NON-REPORT PROBATION ORDERED FOR ME, THE ENDING OF DRUG
TESTING IN MY CASES, AND CHARGES REPEATEDLY DROPPED BY THE COURTS, OR
PROBATIONS CLOSED OUT EARLY... IN TWO STATES.}
I HAVE EVEN HELPED TO CHANGE THOSE LAWS DECRIMINALIZING FIRST OFFENSES
ON CANNABIS POSSESSION WITH-IN THOSE TWO STATES, INCLUDING THE ONE IN
WHICH I CURRENTLY LIVE, KENTUCKY.
THIS SOMETIMES MAKES ME THINK, I SHOULD HAVE SPENT ALL THAT TIME
FIGHTING FOR AN END TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE AND STALKING... BUT HOW
COULD I, WHEN I WAS IN COURT 15 YRS. FIGHTING AGAINST THE STATES, FEDS,
MEDICAL SYSTEMS ABUSES AND NEGLECT OF PATIENTS RIGHTS, AND FOR THE
AMERICAN PEOPLES FREEDOMS, RIGHTS, CONSTITUTION AND OUR RIGHT TO
PURSUE GOOD HEALTH, FREE OF ADDICTION. SO WE MIGHT LIVE.
IT SEEMS MY ENTIRE LIFE IS ONE BIG FIGHT, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE JUST BEEN
TRYING TO END THE FIGHTING FROM DAY ONE OF IT ALL.
I AM A FIGHTER WARRIOR ONLY WHEN I AM FORCED TO DEFEND MYSELF.
I NO LONGER WISH TO DEFEND MYSELF. PLEASE...
I AM A PEACE MAKER IN MY SPIRIT, A HEALER BY NATURE, WHO LOVES GOD, THE
EARTH AND CHILDREN...
I HOPE THIS GIVES YOU BETTER UNDERSTANDING, AS TO WHO I AM, WHERE I COME
FROM AND AS TO WHAT SOMEONE ELSE YOU KNOW, MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH IN
THEIR LIFE.
I USE CANNABIS TO AVOID ABUSE. I CAN NOT USE THEIR ADDICTIVE AND
DANGEROUS NARCOTICS. I DON'T WISH TO ABUSE MYSELF OR LIVE IN ABUSE... IN
ANY FORM. LEGAL OR NOT.
PISS TESTING, LABELING ME AND OTHERS AS A FELONS IS FORCING ME AND
OTHERS TO LIVE IN CONTINUED ABUSE AND TORTURE NOT ONLY BY THE FEDS.,
STATE, BUT BY THOSE IN THIS WORLD WHO WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR
ILLNESS, WEAKNESS, OR ECONOMIC SITUATION. LIKE THIS SYSTEM DOES.
THEY HAVE BUILT INDUSTRIES OUT OF IT, THAT EMPLOYS PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
I BLAME NO ONE AND EVERYONE.
AS MUCH AS I AM RESPONSIBLE, DUE TO POOR DECISIONS, LACK OF KNOWLEDGE
WITH-IN CERTAIN TIMES, BEING WEAK DUE TO ILLNESS AND DISABILITY OR JUST
BEING UNABLE TO DO IT ALL MYSELF, BY MYSELF...
WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE, FOR ALLOWING OUR GOVERNMENT TO PLACE THE
CORPORATIONS AND THEIR RIGHTS, FREEDOMS, PROFIT MARGINS... ABOVE OUR
OWN, ABOVE OUR FAMILIES, ABOVE OTHERS...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO CRIMINALIZE OTHER WISE LAW ABIDING GOOD CITIZENS.
PATIENTS, WHILE VICTIMIZING OUR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO CRIMINALIZE GOD GIVEN PLANTS, FOOD AND MEDICINES,
STARVING OUR BODIES AND MINDS...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO MUTATE, DESTROY AND EXPLOIT NATURE...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO ENSLAVE US THROUGH THE DESIRES AND EVEN NEEDS
OF THIS FLESH, THROUGH THEIR ADDICTION = CONSUMERISM...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO TWIST TRUTH, RE-WRITE AND DICTATE HISTORY... WHILE
THEY SUBSTITUTE THEIR SYNTHETIC VERSION OF IT ALL.
I AM NOT A LONE. THOUGH IT APPEARS I AM. THIS TOO IS A LIE.
THERE ARE MANY OF YOU OUT THERE LIVING THIS SAME LIE. THIS MAN MADE HELL
THEY LABELED AND SOLD AS LIFE OR SECURITY... WHO KNOW WHAT I SPEAK OF.
WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER.
WE CAN RISE ABOVE.
I STILL BELIEVE WE CAN.
I STILL BELIEVE IT ONLY TAKES 1 PERSON {THOUGH I MAY NOT BE THAT ONE}
I STILL BELIEVE A SMALL GROUP OF COMMITTED PEOPLE CAN MAKE A HUGE
DIFFERENCE.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY GOAL FOR PEACE, HEALING AND SUSTAINABILITY FOR THE
EARTH, IT'S CHILDREN OR MYSELF.
I WOULD RATHER STARVE FIRST !
I KNOW, IF I COULD HAVE SUSTAINED MYSELF, HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO
USE THE BANKS FORE-CLOSER TO FORCE HIS WAY BACK INTO MY HOME.
THEREFORE, I BLAME ME, THE MOST FOR THIS HELL WE ALL CREATED THAT I AM
LIVING IN.
I HAVE ALSO FORGIVEN OTHERS AND MYSELF FOR MY NOT BEING ALL POWERFUL,
ALL SEEING AND NOT KNOWING EVERYTHING...
I HAVE NEVER CLAIMED TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS...
JUST TO BE ABLE TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX !
YET, I KNOW TOGETHER WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER AND MAYBE MAKE A
DIFFERENCE...
Please Visit: Designing Your World Magazine for more info.
SINCERELY,
WISHING EVERYONE MUCH PEACE & LOVE...
MARY THOMAS-SPEARS, Minister
WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES AND SOME
NUDITY BEYOND THIS POINT
Bruises I received from the above mentioned ATTEMPTED BEATING after the Holiday.
YOUTUBE WON'T PUBLISH MY DESCRIPTION OF THIS VIDEO, SO HERE IT IS.
THIS VIDEO WAS TAKEN THE MORNING OF JANUARY 4TH, 2011
FOR YOUR EDUCATION AND UNDERSTANDING.............
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRIED TO CALL A FEW FRIENDS AND WISH THEM A HAPPY
NEW YEARS.
NOT THAT IT WAS A HAPPY ONE FOR ME, ONLY THAT I WANTED TO WISH THEM SOME
HAPPINESS IN THE NEW YEAR TO COME.
OR MAYBE, I SHOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO DO SO...
TRYING TO ESCAPE ABUSE AND TORTURE ISN'T ALWAYS AS EASY AS SOME
PEOPLE THINK...
YES, I HAVE CALLED POLICE DURING AN ATTACK, ONLY TO BE ARRESTED, ABUSED,
STRIPPED SEARCHED, BEATEN AND EVEN RAPED BY THE POLICE I CALLED TO
PROTECT ME AND THE JAIL GUARDS WHO JAILED ME, ONLY TO BE RAILROADED
WITH-OUT COUNCIL AND CONVICTED FOR ASSAULT, IN MY OWN DEFENSE, OR FOR
POSSESSING CANNABIS PARAPHERNALIA DURING AN ATTACK.
I HAVE PROSECUTED MANY OF MY ATTACKERS, ONLY TO HAVE THEM SPEND 1
NIGHT IN JAIL AND RECEIVE TIME SERVED AS THEIR SENTENCE. DESPITE THE FACT
ALL MY SENTENCES AND TRIALS WERE HARSHER THAN THEIRS. NO MATTER WHAT
THEY'VE DONE TO ME.
I HAVE BEEN SUBJECT TO THE STATES CONTROL AND ABUSE. AFTER SEEKING
THEIR AID. EITHER VIA, THEIR LAW ENFORCEMENT, JAIL GUARDS, JAILS, COURTS,
GOVERNMENT OFFICES AND BIAS LAWS... EVEN BEING LABELED AS A KIDNAPPING
CULT LEADER BY LOCAL MEDIA AND PRESS. "ALL LIES" THEY BEGAN...
I HAVE LEFT MY HOME(S), STATES, MANY TIMES. ONLY TO END UP IN THE SAME
SHI# NO MATTER WHERE I RELOCATED, DUE TO CONTINUED STALKING BY MY
ATTACKERS OR OTHERS WHO WANTED TO STEP IN AND TAKE OVER WHERE THE
LAST ONE LEFT OFF, INCLUDING MY OWN FAMILY AND THE GOVERNMENT.
I HAVE BEEN HOMELESS IN THE STREETS. ONLY TO WATCH MANY OF THOSE IN THE
STREETS ABUSE THEMSELVES, EACH OTHER AND THE SYSTEM, AND BECOME
SUBJECT TO THAT ABUSE...
NOT TO MENTION, I HAVE AT TIMES, BEEN ORDERED BY THE COURTS TO RETURN
AND REMAIN IN MY HOME, DESPITE THE STALKING AND ABUSE I WAS TRYING TO
ESCAPE AND GOING THROUGH. AS I BECAME SUBJECT TO THEIRS... AND THE
SAME...
I BECAME A BELTED & AWARDED MARTIAL ARTIST WHO COULD/CAN DEFEND
HERSELF, ONLY TO BE CONVICTED 3 TIMES FOR TRYING TO DO SO ON MY BEHALF.
ONLY TO FEEL LIKE I HAD BECAME ONE OF THEM = AN ABUSER AND EVERYTHING I
HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST. {AS HITLER ONCE SAID, "WHEN SLAYING MONSTERS, ONE
MUST BE CAREFUL TO NOT BECOME ONE."}
I HAVE EVEN SHOT AN ATTACKER {AFTER LEARNING I COULD NOT USE MY OWN
HANDS TO DEFEND MYSELF} IN SELF DEFENSE, ONLY TO FACE ATTEMPTED
MURDER CHARGES. SPENDING YRS IN COURT AGAIN DEFENDING MYSELF, FOR
DEFENDING MYSELF AGAINST A MANS MALICIOUS VIOLENT ATTACK .
I HAVE CRAWLED INTO CORNERS AND CLOSETS TO ESCAPE THE VIOLENCE, ONLY
TO FIND MYSELF TRAPPED IN THERE WITH MY OWN ANGER AND PAIN FROM IT ALL,
AND ONLY TO FIND MY OWN VIOLENCE FROM IT ALL, WITH-IN MYSELF, AND TO TRY
TO CONTAIN IT.
I HAVE AT ONE TIME, EVEN SELF MEDICATED AND SELF MUTILATED TRYING TO
COPE WITH THE PAIN AND ANGER OF IT ALL. ONLY TO FIND MY SELF ADDICTED TO IT
ALL. TRYING TO FEED MY EGO OR FLESH WHAT IT THOUGHT IT CRAVED AND THEN I
GOT OVER IT.
I HAVE DONE MY BEST DESPITE IT ALL, NOT TO ASK FOR ANYTHING FROM ANYONE,
SO THEY CAN NOT LATER USE THAT TO CONTROL, BLACK MAIL OR ABUSE ME.
I HAVE GIVEN UP MY RIGHTS TO SOCIAL SECURITY AND ALL FEDERAL OR STATE
AID, INCLUDING MY DISABILITY AND MEDICAL CARE, IN ORDER TO ATTEMPT TO END
THEIR CONTROL AND ABUSE. {WORKING ON MY SOVEREIGNTY, BUT I MUST BE ABLE
TO SUSTAIN MYSELF FIRST}
ABUSE IS EVERYWHERE IT SEEMS.
I CONTINUE TO TRY TO CREATE MY OWN SUSTAINABILITY AND TO EDUCATE OTHERS
ON BECOMING SELF SUSTAINABLE, SO THAT THEY ARE NOT FORCED TO LIVE IN
ANOTHER'S CONTROL, VIOLENCE AND ABUSE.
I EVEN TRIED TO ALLOW THE BANK TO FORE-CLOSE ON MY HOME, {DESPITE ME
HAVING NO WHERE ELSE TO GO} DUE TO MY EX BEING A CO-SIGNER {NOW
SOMEHOW LISTED AS THE PRIMARY NOTE HOLDER ON MY MORTGAGE, DESPITE
HIS NAME HAS NEVER BEEN ON MY DEED AND THE COURTS DECLARING THIS HAS
ALWAYS BEEN MY HOME} WHO ONLY WANTS TO USE THAT AGAINST ME TO
CONTINUE TO CONTROL AND ABUSE ME.
YET, THE FORE-CLOSER WAS HALTED BY THE FEDS. OF ALL PEOPLE AFTER I
GUESS HE AND THEM REACHED SOME KIND OF AGREEMENT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
SO..........
ALL I CAN DO IS KEEP TRYING TO CREATE MY OWN EMPLOYMENT AND
SUSTAINABILITY, DESPITE ALL THE ILLNESS I FIGHT {AGAIN FIGHTING}, BEING
BLACK LISTED AND BEING UNDER CONSTANT ATTACKS BY HIM, OTHERS OF THE
LIKE, AND THE STATE OR FEDS. {MORE FIGHTING}
I AM A VERY INTELLIGENT PERSON, DESPITE HOW MY LIFE LOOKS OR HOW IT HAS
TURNED OUT THUS FAR...
THIS IS WHERE AND WHAT I CAME FROM, IT HAS BEEN MUCH WORSE AND CAN BE.
IT IS ALL I HAVE EVER KNOWN OR SEEN PERSONALLY.
YET, I KNOW THERE IS MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS.
AND IT/THIS IS NOT ME OR WHO I AM !
DESPITE WHAT THINGS LOOK LIKE HERE, I AM NOT ADDICTED TO MY OWN PAIN,
DRAMA, PEOPLE OR RELATIONSHIPS. EVEN IF I AM SURROUNDED BY OTHERS WHO
ARE AND WANT TO FORCE IT UPON ME.
I CAN LIVE ALONE, HAVE MANY YEARS, AND I WAS BETTER OFF DURING THOSE
TIMES. I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR ANY OF THIS AND NEVER ASKED FOR THIS MAN
{OR ANY MAN} TO RETURN TO MY LIFE OR MY HOME.
THAT WAS THE BANKS DOINGS WITH THEIR FRAUD AND ABUSE. WHICH ACCORDING
TO POLICE SOMEHOW OVER RIDES ANY COURTS ORDERS OF EVICTION...
I HAVE BEEN FRAMED, JAILED, AND CHARGED WITH CRIMES I HAVE NEVER
COMMITTED AND THAT THE COURTS WERE WELL AWARE OF THE FACT THEY HAD
NEVER EVEN EVER HAPPENED, AS THEY ABUSED THEIR POWER AND AUTHORITY IN
AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE ME SUBMIT THROUGH THEIR THREATS OF ABUSE, TORTURE,
IMPRISONMENT AND THEIR COURTS.
YET, DESPITE ALL OF IT AND THE ILLNESS, WHICH INCLUDES, AS I HAVE SAID IN
THIS VIDEO, S.M.S., OPEN ANGLE GLAUCOMA, CANCER, AND YES, I NEGLECTED TO
MENTION MY SEVERE P.T.S.D.
I WILL CONTINUE TO DO ALL I CAN TO RISE ABOVE THIS LIE, THEY ALL SEEM TO
WANT TO LABEL AS LIFE.
I WILL CONTINUE TO STAND ON WHAT IS RIGHT, MY FREEDOM, WHAT I KNOW TO BE
THE TRUTH AND TO SHARE WHAT I HAVE LEARNED WITH-IN IT ALL. {EVEN IF IT GETS
ME KILLED}
DESPITE THE FACT, I OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO
END THIS CYCLE OF CONTINUED ABUSE AND VIOLENCE IN THE WORLD AROUND ME.
WHICH NOW SEEMS TO BE EVEN WITH-IN ME, JUDGING BY WHAT I DID TO MY OWN
CLOSET, AND BY WHAT I HAVE DONE IN MY OWN DEFENSE AT TIMES.
I DON'T NEED ANY OF THIS TO BE ALIVE OR FEEL ALIVE OR TO VALIDATE MY
EXISTENCE OR SELF WORTH. I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO LIVE PERIOD. BUT YET,
I CONTINUE TO SOMEHOW...
I HAVE MUCH TO OFFER DESPITE ALL OF IT.
I AM AN INTELLIGENT, LOGICAL, LOVING, CARING, INDIVIDUAL WHO IS DESPITE IT
ALL EXTREMELY GIFTED AND BLESSED, WITH MUCH EXPERIENCE AND MANY
AWARDS IN THE ARTS, AS A SCULPTURE, PAINTER, DESIGNER, WRITER, CARVER,
CRAFTSMAN, ...
I AM AN EXPERIENCED BUILDER, MASON, WITH A BACKGROUND IN DESIGN,
DRAFTING AND THE ARTS.
I AM AN EXPERIENCED AND LICENSED MINISTER, ACTIVIST, ADVOCATE, AND
PUBLIC SPEAKER {WHICH I HAVE TRIED TO QUIT BECAUSE, WHO AM I TO ADVISE
YOU, WHEN I CAN NOT EVEN SAVE MYSELF...} WITH STACKS OF THANK YOUS,
E-MAILS, CARDS AND LETTERS FROM PEOPLE AROUND THE GLOBE. WHO CLAIM
THAT I HAVE IN SOME WAY TOUCHED, HELPED, HEALED, CHANGED OR SAVED THEIR
LIVES OR THE LIVES OF SOMEONE THEY LOVE FOR THE BETTER.
EVEN IF I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO COMPLETELY REPAIR OR HEAL MY OWN.
I AM STILL STANDING, STILL TRYING, STILL CONTINUING TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT MY
WAY. I ASK YOU FOR NOTHING, BUT YOUR UNDERSTANDING... AS
I ATTEMPT TO EDUCATE.
IT ISN'T ALWAYS AS EASY AS HOLLYWOOD WOULD MAKE IT SEEM... SOMETIMES
THEY TRY TO KILL YOU, WHEN YOU TRY TO LEAVE AND CAN FIND YOU WHERE EVER
YOU MAY GO.
PLEASE, DON'T WRITE AND TELL ME ABOUT THE SHELTERS. I HAVE BEEN IN AND
EVEN "WORKED" IN.
THEY AREN'T WHAT EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE. IT IS TRULY SAD... THEY ONLY
SUCK YOU INTO YET ANOTHER STATE OF CONTROL, AS THEY THE STATE THEN TRIES
TO CONTROL YOU BY THE SYSTEM AND SYSTEMATIC ABUSE.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, DESPITE ALL THIS, I AM AND DO FEEL, IN AWAY FREE-ER THAN
MOST.
I HAVE STOOD UP FOR MY FREEDOM TO USE CANNABIS AND WON MY RIGHTS IN
COURT, TO MEDICATE. ONLY TO HAVE THEM ALSO TAKEN BY FELONIES ON PAPER,
FOR APPEARANCES SAKE OF THE COURTS. DESPITE THE FACT I NEVER SERVED
SIGNIFICANT TIME ON A CONVICTION IN ANY CASE AND THAT THEY KNOW,
"I CONTINUE TO MEDICATE IN MY HOME AND WILL DO SO", IN A STATE WHERE
THERE IS NO LEGAL PROTECTION FOR OTHERS WHO USE CANNABIS. {THE PROOF IS
IN THEIR NON-REPORT PROBATION ORDERED FOR ME, THE ENDING OF DRUG
TESTING IN MY CASES, AND CHARGES REPEATEDLY DROPPED BY THE COURTS, OR
PROBATIONS CLOSED OUT EARLY... IN TWO STATES.}
I HAVE EVEN HELPED TO CHANGE THOSE LAWS DECRIMINALIZING FIRST OFFENSES
ON CANNABIS POSSESSION WITH-IN THOSE TWO STATES, INCLUDING THE ONE IN
WHICH I CURRENTLY LIVE, KENTUCKY.
THIS SOMETIMES MAKES ME THINK, I SHOULD HAVE SPENT ALL THAT TIME
FIGHTING FOR AN END TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE AND STALKING... BUT HOW
COULD I, WHEN I WAS IN COURT 15 YRS. FIGHTING AGAINST THE STATES, FEDS,
MEDICAL SYSTEMS ABUSES AND NEGLECT OF PATIENTS RIGHTS, AND FOR THE
AMERICAN PEOPLES FREEDOMS, RIGHTS, CONSTITUTION AND OUR RIGHT TO
PURSUE GOOD HEALTH, FREE OF ADDICTION. SO WE MIGHT LIVE.
IT SEEMS MY ENTIRE LIFE IS ONE BIG FIGHT, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE JUST BEEN
TRYING TO END THE FIGHTING FROM DAY ONE OF IT ALL.
I AM A FIGHTER WARRIOR ONLY WHEN I AM FORCED TO DEFEND MYSELF.
I NO LONGER WISH TO DEFEND MYSELF. PLEASE...
I AM A PEACE MAKER IN MY SPIRIT, A HEALER BY NATURE, WHO LOVES GOD, THE
EARTH AND CHILDREN...
I HOPE THIS GIVES YOU BETTER UNDERSTANDING, AS TO WHO I AM, WHERE I COME
FROM AND AS TO WHAT SOMEONE ELSE YOU KNOW, MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH IN
THEIR LIFE.
I USE CANNABIS TO AVOID ABUSE. I CAN NOT USE THEIR ADDICTIVE AND
DANGEROUS NARCOTICS. I DON'T WISH TO ABUSE MYSELF OR LIVE IN ABUSE... IN
ANY FORM. LEGAL OR NOT.
PISS TESTING, LABELING ME AND OTHERS AS A FELONS IS FORCING ME AND
OTHERS TO LIVE IN CONTINUED ABUSE AND TORTURE NOT ONLY BY THE FEDS.,
STATE, BUT BY THOSE IN THIS WORLD WHO WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR
ILLNESS, WEAKNESS, OR ECONOMIC SITUATION. LIKE THIS SYSTEM DOES.
THEY HAVE BUILT INDUSTRIES OUT OF IT, THAT EMPLOYS PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
I BLAME NO ONE AND EVERYONE.
AS MUCH AS I AM RESPONSIBLE, DUE TO POOR DECISIONS, LACK OF KNOWLEDGE
WITH-IN CERTAIN TIMES, BEING WEAK DUE TO ILLNESS AND DISABILITY OR JUST
BEING UNABLE TO DO IT ALL MYSELF, BY MYSELF...
WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE, FOR ALLOWING OUR GOVERNMENT TO PLACE THE
CORPORATIONS AND THEIR RIGHTS, FREEDOMS, PROFIT MARGINS... ABOVE OUR
OWN, ABOVE OUR FAMILIES, ABOVE OTHERS...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO CRIMINALIZE OTHER WISE LAW ABIDING GOOD CITIZENS.
PATIENTS, WHILE VICTIMIZING OUR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO CRIMINALIZE GOD GIVEN PLANTS, FOOD AND MEDICINES,
STARVING OUR BODIES AND MINDS...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO MUTATE, DESTROY AND EXPLOIT NATURE...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO ENSLAVE US THROUGH THE DESIRES AND EVEN NEEDS
OF THIS FLESH, THROUGH THEIR ADDICTION = CONSUMERISM...
FOR ALLOWING THEM TO TWIST TRUTH, RE-WRITE AND DICTATE HISTORY... WHILE
THEY SUBSTITUTE THEIR SYNTHETIC VERSION OF IT ALL.
I AM NOT A LONE. THOUGH IT APPEARS I AM. THIS TOO IS A LIE.
THERE ARE MANY OF YOU OUT THERE LIVING THIS SAME LIE. THIS MAN MADE HELL
THEY LABELED AND SOLD AS LIFE OR SECURITY... WHO KNOW WHAT I SPEAK OF.
WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER.
WE CAN RISE ABOVE.
I STILL BELIEVE WE CAN.
I STILL BELIEVE IT ONLY TAKES 1 PERSON {THOUGH I MAY NOT BE THAT ONE}
I STILL BELIEVE A SMALL GROUP OF COMMITTED PEOPLE CAN MAKE A HUGE
DIFFERENCE.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY GOAL FOR PEACE, HEALING AND SUSTAINABILITY FOR THE
EARTH, IT'S CHILDREN OR MYSELF.
I WOULD RATHER STARVE FIRST !
I KNOW, IF I COULD HAVE SUSTAINED MYSELF, HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO
USE THE BANKS FORE-CLOSER TO FORCE HIS WAY BACK INTO MY HOME.
THEREFORE, I BLAME ME, THE MOST FOR THIS HELL WE ALL CREATED THAT I AM
LIVING IN.
I HAVE ALSO FORGIVEN OTHERS AND MYSELF FOR MY NOT BEING ALL POWERFUL,
ALL SEEING AND NOT KNOWING EVERYTHING...
I HAVE NEVER CLAIMED TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS...
JUST TO BE ABLE TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX !
YET, I KNOW TOGETHER WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER AND MAYBE MAKE A
DIFFERENCE...
Please Visit: Designing Your World Magazine for more info.
SINCERELY,
WISHING EVERYONE MUCH PEACE & LOVE...
MARY THOMAS-SPEARS, Minister
WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES AND SOME
NUDITY BEYOND THIS POINT
Bruises I received from the above mentioned ATTEMPTED BEATING after the Holiday.
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